I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
