I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
