its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
