Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
