Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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