fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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