That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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