I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Buhtt sex?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
