I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
