i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
handjob tips. give me some.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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