After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
