Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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