I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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