I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
