Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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