i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
People in love make me want to vomit
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize