what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
