You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
