ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
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So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
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I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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