Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
