peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
