Cold hands, warm shart.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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