It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
