guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
