How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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