I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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