so explain again why im purple
no
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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