got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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