I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
