Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
