I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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