I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize