Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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