we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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