I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize