I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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