you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
