You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
