yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Pappa wants mamma naked
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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