I could have mohawked her pubes.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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