i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
