I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
