scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
