nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
