She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
