how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
