I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
