Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I love you. Go after that dick
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
