I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
