did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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