Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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