Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think I am morally bankrupt
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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