Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We need to get me chipped asap
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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