didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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