How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Everyone says I win the strip club
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
