Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So much rum. So many feels.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
