My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
