I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize