Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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