Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
What a dumb baby whore.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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