i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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