dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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