It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
