I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
