It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
