I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
