Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
