the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
