That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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