This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
