That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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