i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
