As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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