but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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