covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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